Home Maintenance Detective T-Shirts

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Man using to much bug spray

Yardless: Please help

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'The roof needs icing.'

The household cavalry

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Homes on Holmes"

Timber preservation

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."