Home Design Detective T-Shirts

"The back of the house? Didn't I already show you that?"

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

Early design for the Two-Man Kayak.

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Is this the first time you've put wallpaper up?"

'So this is a kitchen!'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

"Mobile Tree Home"

Giant wants his shoe back.

"The house needs to have comfortable window ledges. Lots of windows! And a fireplace!"

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

"I'm sorry, madam, but these units are for display purposes only."

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

'That must be the termite inspector.'

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

'Is it true the building's sinking?'

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

"How Georgia O'Keeffey are you thinking?"

"I'm not casing this house - I'm coveting it."