Home Energy Detective T-Shirts

My House - A thermal image from reception class.

'I found the termites!'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'The roof needs icing.'

"Homes on Holmes"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Here's the problem."

Plasma Ball

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Is this what they call inherent safety?

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

Benjamin Franklin.

The builder had said there would be some settling after the house was finished, so really the home owners shouldn't complain.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Nuclear energy.