Home Dining Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Domestic Goddess.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Am Awful Crammer.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

"You've all been like a company to me."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign