Home Dining Enthusiasts Pillows

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Life is for the birds.

Domestic Goddess.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Am Awful Crammer.

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

"You've all been like a company to me."

"You and your daft inventions."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'