Home Cuisine Enthusiast Pillows

"Here's our everything's included meal kit. How do they stuff a cook and dishwasher in there?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Domestic Goddess.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Baker Romance

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

The Perfect Foil

Feast

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

Cookery Lesson.

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"