Home Cooks T-Shirts

"No, I will not 'beep, beep, beep' when I back up."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Come dine with me!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Domestic Goddess.

"You do like octopus?"

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Party time.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

Baking

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

Lockdown casserole

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

I made you a cake!