Home Clutter Enthusiast Gifts

"Honey, while you're out, could you pick up some bric-a-brac?"

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"There, all neat and tidy!"

Ironing day.

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Bob’s Museum

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

A catch-all is born.

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

Spring cleaning.

"Of course we don't mind you working from home - we'd just rather it was from your own home, Mr Webb."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

Cleaner

"I'm running a loose ship."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

"Okay dad, I'll clean my room. . . you didn't have to make a federal case out of it!"

Super glue hoovering

"Frank?"

"Good afternoon. Feng-shui consultation bureau."

'It's amazing how big your office feels when you go paperless.'

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

"I've been thinking it over, Tom, and I've concluded that there's no room in this family for two people."