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"Honey, while you're out, could you pick up some bric-a-brac?"

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Ironing day.

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Bob’s Museum

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

A catch-all is born.

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

Spring cleaning.

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"Okay dad, I'll clean my room. . . you didn't have to make a federal case out of it!"

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

Cleaner

Super glue hoovering

"I'm running a loose ship."

"Frank?"

"Good afternoon. Feng-shui consultation bureau."

'It's amazing how big your office feels when you go paperless.'

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

"I thought you were organizing my stuff."

"I've been thinking it over, Tom, and I've concluded that there's no room in this family for two people."