Home Cleanliness Perfectionist Gifts

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

Staycation Photos

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

Cinderella mopping up

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

Super glue hoovering

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

Mouth Wash 'n' Dry.

Born To Raise Dirt

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

"Baldo, I finally got that stain out of your favorite shirt! Of course, I had to use my scissors."

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'

The Moth Menace.

'Given up on the eco-friendly loo cleaner then.'

The Movers Strip - Coffee table reading

"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."

What if pets did housework...

'Burl always has to walk around the house when he brushes his teeth. . . he can't sit still for a minute.'

'For the love of God, does anybody have a stain stick?'

"I thought ou were building a man cave. Not a man castle."

'What can I use to get this paint off my shirt?'

Chet Blows Another Sale.

'This is what we use for that 'new school year' smell.'

"Anytime Ed gets too cocky, I tell him to go try and fold a fitted bed sheet."

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

"The vacuum has too much suction."

TV. It says this is "sweeps" week. It seems more like a vacuum.

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

Came home early one day and caught him vacuuming. He's a good man, she thought, but he missed a spot.

'Maybe we should dilute the cleanser some.'