Home Decor Perfectionist Gifts

"Lovely new carpet Doris - and with scotch-guard too."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Pea green

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

King Madras

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"We need to talk."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

'I should never have let you pick the taps!'