Home Decor Specialist Gifts

Home & Garden. I need a new doormat. The old one is in tatters. You wore out your "welcome."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You're welcome."

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

We're putting on a subtraction.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

Tedious Romantic.

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."