Home Cleanliness Champion Gifts

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

"I miss the Augean stables."

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

TV and cleaner

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Cinderella mopping up

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

"Looks like you've got some competition."

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

Billy's clean room.

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

"The freezer is on the bottom ... stop putting away the milk upside down!"

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

Now wash your hands.

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

Born To Raise Dirt

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

"The people next door eat a lot better."

A woman's work is never done.

'Well he didn't get it from my side of the family'.