Home Cleanliness Champion Gifts

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

"I miss the Augean stables."

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

TV and cleaner

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

Cinderella mopping up

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

"Looks like you've got some competition."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

Billy's clean room.

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"Hmm...well, OK...as long as you boys promise to leave the battlefield the way you found it."

"The freezer is on the bottom ... stop putting away the milk upside down!"

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

Born To Raise Dirt

"The people next door eat a lot better."

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

Now wash your hands.

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

Animals write 'Clean Me' on cow.

A woman's work is never done.