Home Cleanliness Advocate Gifts

A woman dusts a man who is watching sports.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

The Cougher

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

In the art gallery

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"Looks like you've got some competition."

The Messy Sink

"I'm Hygienia, the good witch of the north."

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

'My mom invented baths!'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

Medieval Torture

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

Leaving my favorite restaurant, I note rats arriving for the night shift.

"The freezer is on the bottom ... stop putting away the milk upside down!"

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."