Home Chef Extraordinaires T-Shirts

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Come dine with me!

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Party time.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Roasted

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

'... But, why do you want me to sign a "waiver of liability form"?'

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

'Go on - they're organic!'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Happy thanksgiving!"

Scales

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

"When a man is tired of pasta, sir, he is tired of life. Dr. Johnson."

Thanksgiving 2020

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

Stay at home food pyramid