Holy Word Juggler Gifts

Monk Crossword

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"We have an acronym!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

That party went well.

"Bed Spread"

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

A Bloody Butcher

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

Moving in

"It's a swearbox."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

Stop and Birch

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

Newton's cradle

"I wonder what Scrappy named me..." "I wonder what Porky McHorse-Cow is thinking..."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

Santas Key Deliverables.

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'I know it's a lot of money but we can't avoid it any longer.'

'As editor, your first job will be to rewrite your resume.'

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'