Internet Juggler Gifts

"Everyone off the internet, I have a meeting to attend."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'To cut back on traveling expenses, we're going to start sending you out as an e-mail attachment.'

Spam in inbox.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

Overworked

"Hello?"

The Communicator

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

The Music of Life (in the key of dna).

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Snakecharming.

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

'I wish you wouldn't correct my grammar when you read my diary.'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

Sorry, sir, but today is Tuesday, and I never did get the hang of Tuesdays.

'It's for you.'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

Woman holding two phones together.

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

Trapeze artists.

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'