Holy Hooligan Pillows

Dog collars.

Night-time halo

"OMG, LOL!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"Holy Mackerel!"

'We are gathered here...'

How's my Sermon . . .

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

"Holy water, holy water...."

'Man, I'm bombing,'

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Golf

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'Oh, I believe in God -- I just think that he's overrated.'

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.