Closet Hooligan Pillows

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'This closet needs digitized.'

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

Footballer Sponsored By Brown Beer Has Brown Beer Can Thrown at Him

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

"Oh, I love this! The huge walk-in closet comes with it's own master bedroom!"

For Sale. And, of course, there's a roomy walk-in closet.

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

Hooligans at Home

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

'Soccer hooligans, majesty! Thousands of them! We're doomed!'

Dog collars.

'Your car keys are under the sofa, and you like to wear women's shoes.'

'They must be a Christian school...'

"Going anywhere nice to smash up on your holidays this year sir?"

'Do you have that in red?'

'Fantastic - we're out of the World Cup! Finally we've got a reason to have a lot of beer and wreck the pub!'

'You'll love this house. One floor is all closets.'

'Don't think of it as losing a daughter - think of it as gaining a closet.'

"Should I wear my usual pants, or the same pants but newer?"

'Yes, I downloaded my book report from the Internet, but I collated and stapled the pages all by myself.'

"No more hockey for you, mister, until you learn to control yourself!"

Ice hockey player with testicles on his stick.