Closet Hooligan Mugs

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

'This closet needs digitized.'

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

Footballer Sponsored By Brown Beer Has Brown Beer Can Thrown at Him

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Oh, I love this! The huge walk-in closet comes with it's own master bedroom!"

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

Hooligans at Home

Dog collars.

'Soccer hooligans, majesty! Thousands of them! We're doomed!'

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

'Your car keys are under the sofa, and you like to wear women's shoes.'

'They must be a Christian school...'

"Should I wear my usual pants, or the same pants but newer?"

'Do you have that in red?'

'Fantastic - we're out of the World Cup! Finally we've got a reason to have a lot of beer and wreck the pub!'

"Going anywhere nice to smash up on your holidays this year sir?"

'You'll love this house. One floor is all closets.'

'Don't think of it as losing a daughter - think of it as gaining a closet.'

'Yes, I downloaded my book report from the Internet, but I collated and stapled the pages all by myself.'

Soccer hooligans dismantle train.

"No more hockey for you, mister, until you learn to control yourself!"