Holy Hooligan Gifts

Dog collars.

Night-time halo

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"OMG, LOL!"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

"Holy Mackerel!"

'We are gathered here...'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

How's my Sermon . . .

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

'Man, I'm bombing,'

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Then the angel Gabriel said to Joseph in a dream.. 'Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall call Him Emmanuel." "I thought His name was Jesus!?".

'World's Greatest Dad'

Golf

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"I wonder if he's talking to me?"

Bear Bears his Cross