Holy Boarder Gifts

Moses on skateboard at the Red Sea

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Shred the plank."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

Monk on the beach

Airports.

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

Gracebook.

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

Priest sees 'one way' sign point upwards toward heaven.

Confessions on a plane.

Bishop looking non plussed with a shepherds' crook for a question mark above his head.

Bored Angels: 'Now what?'

'Using this, you will be able to get around the branches more quickly!'

'Now that we've boarded our first class, priority, gold priority, business class, premium and gold star passengers - is there anyone else left?'

"No, a question period will not follow!"

Vicar with cross-shaped car aerial.

'I want to charter a tour of the promised land, double occupancy for 40,000...'

"I feel peculiar about having wings. In life, I was a chicken farmer."

Brother Ernest has been riding a skateboard for years and nobody knew!

'What about all these fish stories?'

"It's a pretty stiff climb up here - Next time, could I just PRAY?"

'There's a 35 minute wait. However, if you're willing to sit in hell, I can get you a table immediately.'

'Is it just me or do birthdays seem to come round much quicker now?'

"Oh, this? It's just my copy of '1,001 Places to See Now That You're Dead'."

Celebration of Pope Francis's First Year as Pope.

'Just to make it crystal clear, I AM holier than thou.'

'Wait just a darn minute here! -- Are you saying we're going to backpack to Palestine?'