Holistic Gifts

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

Acupuncture clinic

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

The Farmer Sutra.

The New Age Dentist.

Alternative Medicine.

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"Gym for regular people" "No intimidating trainers!" "Lo-tech" "Less is more!" "Not plastic" "Fluffy and scented" "No mirrors" "Full service restaurant"

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

Connect This, Woo-Woos

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

Alternative medicine

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

'When it comes to stress relief, I believe in a holistic approach.'

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'