Holistic Health Gifts

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'When it comes to stress relief, I believe in a holistic approach.'

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

Vending Machine in Alternative Medicine Clinic

Farmacy.

"Well, no, I'm not a practicing physician. I'm a non-practicing physician."

Trevor accidentally sees an inacupuncturist.

"I understand that your chakra may be 'out of alignment', but can we check first if your broken arm might be causing your pain?"

Chiropractor and Veterinarian.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Alternative Medicine.

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"I hear he's a dry holistic lawyer. He knows all the loopholes."

Alternative medicine

"All our medical services are a la carte. Our practice isn't holistic, but our billing is."

Acupuncture clinic

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"How did the acupuncture session go, Sebastian?"

Fisherman to friend about to be devoured by shark: 'Bill, are you familiar with the health benefits of shark cartilage?'

'Well, there is no chair, Mr, Smith, because I am a holistic dentist, I use natural methods to extract teeth without drugs such as Novocain,'

"I am going to SoHo. My doshas are all out of balance. Well, my kapha is hunky-dory but my pitta and vata are out of whack. Today the practitioner is going to get rid of all the stress with geranium, ylang-ylang, bergamot, and patchouli, and, of course, a little time in the steam tent."

Gone For Acupuncture

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.

Connect This, Woo-Woos

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"