Holiday Peacekeeper Gifts

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Dog ignores angry cat.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Human rights

"The session isn't quite going to plan."

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

"Perhaps we got off on the wrong paw."

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'How long have you been fighting?'

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

The Arab Autumn

Warring parents

"Negotiations are progressing. No one's made a gratuitous personal attack in 12 minutes."

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

A neutral observer.

Aleppo vs. Russia

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

Restorative Justice Victim's Revenge.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."