Sunday Peacekeeper Gifts

"He's an excellent candidate. Unfortunately, he doesn't want to work weekends."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Dog ignores angry cat.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Human rights

"The session isn't quite going to plan."

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

"Perhaps we got off on the wrong paw."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'How long have you been fighting?'

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

"Negotiations are progressing. No one's made a gratuitous personal attack in 12 minutes."

Aleppo vs. Russia

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

A neutral observer.

The Arab Autumn

Warring parents

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'