Holiday Peacemaker Gifts

"Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with you."

"Our families fight so much during the holidays, even the wishbone is a bone of contention."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

Noise Pollution

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'King Solomon had seven hundred wives, Ed, and you just have the one. Surely you can work out your differences.'

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'Do you want to reschedule? Normally he has a magnetic personality, but today he seems to have reversed polarity.'

"Why can't you ever relax at parties?"

A divided world.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

Unsettlements.

'See?! The Israelis Are The Savage Ones.'

'Thank God, no tasers in my day!'

Gaza escalation

"What part of 'keep it bipartisan' didn’t you understand?"

Macron and Putin Talk

"All parents fight."

Middleast Peace