Holiday Jesters Pillows

Bobby's dyslexia was about to bring him big trouble

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

NSA is coming to town.

North Pole.

Pumping up wig in blender.

"I hate waiting! I know! I'll set this clock back an hour, and then in an hour...I'll move it forward, and 60 minutes will go by in a flash! Of course, we'll have to do this 176 more times."

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Who am I kidding?

"Are you sure you can trust this doctor?"

Looking for a cool cat.

"Does that mean trick or treaters too?"

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Christmas Newspapers

Good Dog!...Bad dog!...Good dog!....Nice dog!...Very bad dog!....Good dog!....Good dog!...Naughty dog!..."

'Money's no object, lad! Whatever you want, you can have, and everything's available in our fully stocked toy department on the third floor...'

'He picked it, and ate it.'

North Pole Adult Toy Testing Lab