Seasonal Jesters Pillows

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

Minnesota Weather.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'What do you think I'm doing? The doctor told me to collect a mid stream urine specimen."

Coast to coast walk.

Terror Strikes A Leaf Funeral

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

North Pole Adult Toy Testing Lab

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

Turkey Hostage.

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

Genial youth talking to his sister's fiancée

"It's not as easy as it looks."

"I'm sorry...did I forget to mention? I must be honest with you. I have a condition. My doctor says I may need a full time nurse. But otherwise, I'm in perfect health!""

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'