Seasonal Jesters Pillows

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

Minnesota Weather.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

Winter. I'm starting to think it's not coming at all.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'What do you think I'm doing? The doctor told me to collect a mid stream urine specimen."

Coast to coast walk.

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

Turkey Hostage.

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

Terror Strikes A Leaf Funeral

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

North Pole Adult Toy Testing Lab

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder.

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

"I'm sorry...did I forget to mention? I must be honest with you. I have a condition. My doctor says I may need a full time nurse. But otherwise, I'm in perfect health!""

Genial youth talking to his sister's fiancée