Family Jesters Pillows

"Dear Alex, how are things at college? Your mother and I wanted to know if you might send us some money..."

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

"Baldo invaded my room and stole my Atomic Sour Balls. The invader must be stopped...this means war!"

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"I hate performance review season."

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Raised by Dogs

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"You might need to remind Mrs. Sanders it's 'bring your DAUGHTER to work' day."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

"My entire family's coming for the holidays."

"All rise."

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

There's a toxic cloud moving in our direction! Hurry! Teddy's home from sports camp. Ha. Ha. Ha.

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."