Holiday Gag Gift Pillows

Food Summit: 'The western delegate can't get through the door.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

"You must see someone about your problem."

The Fart Side

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'