Holiday Gag Gift Gifts

Food Summit: 'The western delegate can't get through the door.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

The magic of April Fools' morning.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"You must see someone about your problem."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.