Collecting Gag Gifts Gifts

'Don't pay any attention - it's just a gag gift from my patients.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"You must see someone about your problem."

Toe-Tickling Machine

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

The Fart Side