Hockey Joker Gifts

His Other Shtick

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'Hole in one!!!!'

Jogging Bottoms

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Zdeno Chara

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"You idiots … we lost!"

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

False encouragement.

'Two, four, six, eight Who do we appreciate ,,,'

Goalie Wall.

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

Hiker's right of way.

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

You look like a team player. I like that!

Running With Scissors Marathon