Hockey Joker Gifts

His Other Shtick

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'How about a game of cards?'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Jogging Bottoms

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

Zdeno Chara

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"You idiots … we lost!"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'Two, four, six, eight Who do we appreciate ,,,'

False encouragement.

Goalie Wall.

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

Hiker's right of way.

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

You look like a team player. I like that!

'Team spirit, my ass.'

Running With Scissors Marathon