Hockey Executive Gifts

Gary Betteman: I'm wishing for a settlement before Christmas.

Golfing Boss

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Egyptian Football

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

Pole Vault Rules

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'Now what?!'

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play...

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'Are you blind ref?'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Tennis corruption

Footballer playing for time

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.