Hockey Coach Gifts

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

NHL's toughest coach: 'I'm sick of all this whining! Hockey's a rough game!. . . Now get back out there!'

'Get in the game, Emmett! It's crunch time!'

GoalieRobics.

Last Line of Defence

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

Hockey and Cell Phones

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

'I wanna be a hockey goalkeeper.'

"Wow! Do they even make wooden hockey sticks anymore?!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Go team!

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"I AM at my usual position."