Hockey Coach Gifts

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

'Get in the game, Emmett! It's crunch time!'

GoalieRobics.

Last Line of Defence

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

Hockey and Cell Phones

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

'I wanna be a hockey goalkeeper.'

"Wow! Do they even make wooden hockey sticks anymore?!"

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Go team!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"I AM at my usual position."

Go! Means NOW!

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."