Ice Hockey Coach Gifts

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play...

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Go team!

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Go! Means NOW!

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

The trauma of losing.

"I AM at my usual position."

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Time Is Money

Punt Cake

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Back to school.