History Meddler Gifts

"I just messed with the past."

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

CIA report

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

Harry S. Truman

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"Perhaps it was too soon for a self-driving wheel."

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

Jane Austen Powers

Surge Plans.

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Authorization for the Use of Farce

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Shakespeare actually had to paraphrase Julius Caesar's last words.

E=MC2, 'You think you're pretty smart, don't you?'

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

USA-China, trade war.

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

Russian Spy Debriefing

The Thing That Won't Leave

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

Middle East - Abbas and Hanya

Stress on GPs

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Well, that was a total waste of time!

The Bronze Age of Television

'Don't you think the GM apple is a bit of a cheat, Will?'