History Meddler Pillows

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

CIA report

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Harry S. Truman

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

Surge Plans.

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

Shakespeare actually had to paraphrase Julius Caesar's last words.

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

USA-China, trade war.

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

Middle East - Abbas and Hanya

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

Stress on GPs

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

Well, that was a total waste of time!

The Bronze Age of Television

'Don't you think the GM apple is a bit of a cheat, Will?'

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'