Mind Meddler Pillows

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Stop looking guilty! You haven't done anything! Just act normal!

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Man and brain

Are you able to concentrate on your work? My mind wanders a lot but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

A walking brain, with legs, and a head (or is it a mask?)

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

We've been together so long, we can finish each other's texts.

Analyst and patient

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

Stress on GPs

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

Like all of us, he asked many different questions throughout his life.

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatry works too well!

"Let it out. Let it all out."