History Lovers Gifts

'Listen, I'm sure janitorial work is fascinating, and it's very generous offer... it's just that we're pretty selective about whose papers we archive here at Harvard.'

Pieter Bruegel the Elder

Ten Commandments

"And now we're pleased to present to you the monarchical stylings of His Majesty King Gustaf."

Before the Fall

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

2004. 2005. Consider yourself lucky, kid. I had to work February 29th without getting overtime!

Chastity Belts in the Garden of Eden

"All Super Highways lead to Rome"

Mahmoud Abbas

Things of the past...

"Is it too late to call in sick?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"You're fired."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"I think he was a celebrity."

Southwark Fair.

Servicemen.

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Knight Golfing

The International and May Day Terrorism

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'Where was the TSA?'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Cut!

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Moses' Tablet

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."