Historian Of Military Humor Gifts

"I was stationed at CVS during the war on drugs."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

French Army knife

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'At last! Some decent kit.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Your Country Needs MOO!

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Ad Valorem

Banting in the Yeomanry

At a Country House

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

The Emperor of Irony

'Hamster Swat Team.'

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

Golf war: 'Fore!'

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers