Historian Of Military Humor Pillows

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'...and this is the Mess.'

French Army knife

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

'At last! Some decent kit.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Ad Valorem

Your Country Needs MOO!

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

At a Country House

Banting in the Yeomanry

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Golf war: 'Fore!'

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"