Hiring Manager Gifts

"Tell me about a time you identified a problem that others didn't see coming."

'We only hire people who are willing to take on more than they can handle.'

"The bunny did not get the job because the bunny is cute. The bunny got the job because the bunny knows WordPerfect."

'We're looking for someone who's comfortable taking risks.'

"I'm sorry, but I can't hire you. I typed your name in on a search engine, and lazy, selfish, and unmotivated were the categories that came up."

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'

'We were going to hire you, but a background check showed you pulled a girl's ponytail in the 2nd grade. We don't need abusive people working here.'

'This test has nothing to do with psychological profiling, we just need to make sure we're not hiring an idiot.'

'This is more precise than objectively reviewing resumes.'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"This is so much more fun than reading CVs."

"We're interested in words, not deeds."

"...but what we're looking for is ability"

'And our family friendly policy means your children can work here too.'

-"Brian, how are you at decision making?" -"Do you need the answer right away?"

"Just the one old school tie would have done"

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'What's your policy on working from home?'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"This resume appears to cover only the last forty-five minutes."

'40 hours...all in one week?'

"What we're looking for is somebody of about twenty five with forty years' experience."

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

"Do I want the job? Huh, I never thought about it like that."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'Personally, I like the look of the next candidate!'

"You're Hired?"

'Let me get this straight: The job comes with a full health care package? Including a dental plan? Impressive! What kind of salary are we talking?'

'I'm just sorting through the latest job applications now.'

'If you had your own business, would you give yourself a job?.'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'Of course I know the difference between right and wrong! Wrong pays better!'