Hiring Enthusiast Gifts

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'These are job perks.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"I'm going to send you to someone who's more familiar with the law of the jungle."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'He gives his heart and soul to every annual performance review.'

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'