Recruitment Enthusiast Gifts

"We were actually looking to recruit more cats."

'The departments new recruitment campaign is designed to get rid of 'myths'.'

"You brought your mom to the interview as a personal reference?"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"I'm going to send you to someone who's more familiar with the law of the jungle."

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

Resume Dumpers

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

Now hiring.

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

Urine Catcher

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'