Hilarious Turn Of The Cards Gifts

"...But if you'd led back a heart instead of that spade..."

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

Just your average family holiday portrait.

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

'Look pal, we're friends and all, but you need to get out more, meet some people...'

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

"Will you call me?"

'I married Miss Right... I just didn't know her first name was Always!'

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

Snowman making a snowwoman

Quality Assurance

'Holy mackerel! No wonder you were screaming so loudly!'

'No termites, no grubs, no leaves... What kind of crazy restaurant is this?'

"Mike, Mike, Mike! Guess what day it is!!!"

'Me keep thinking it Wednesday.'

"Yes it's a salad bar, but it's still mainly hay."

"The bastards!"

"Psst - wanna buy some catnip...?"

London GPs income slashed by 'list cleaning'.

'They're your parents.'

Ear, Nose & Throat Clinic

John's renewed focus on valuing people had been misinterpreted.

A man ordering Haricot Mutton in a restaurant

'I know I don't have much saved up, but I really need to retire before the end of the month.'

"I know this is heaven! This is the lightest I've ever been"

'Why don't you just give Grandpa a spoon?'