Heel Hilarity Gifts

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

A women in a shoeshop.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Mister Pretty Shoes

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

Shoe repair

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"...But if you'd led back a heart instead of that spade..."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"These come with a Health and Safety warning..."

'We've noticed just about every patient you've tested has elevated blood pressure.'

'I would describe it as a splitting headache.'

"That's great for the right foot, now let's look for the left."

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

Worm running away from hook.

'Your feet are killing me!'

'So where are you going?'

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

'I think it's most likely a situational depression.'

'What is it with mares and Iberians?!'

"And now for this week's episode of, 'The fallen Arches'."

"It's worse than you think, doctor - his dad's supper is in there."

'We don't have a treadmill, so the stress test here is waiting two hours to see a doctor.'

'So in hindsight, maybe not the best idea...'

Arch Rivals.

London GPs income slashed by 'list cleaning'.

Ear, Nose & Throat Clinic

Do the heels make my legs look longer?

She let her footwear do the talking....