Heel Hilarity Gifts

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

A women in a shoeshop.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Mister Pretty Shoes

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

Shoe repair

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"...But if you'd led back a heart instead of that spade..."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"These come with a Health and Safety warning..."

'We've noticed just about every patient you've tested has elevated blood pressure.'

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

"That's great for the right foot, now let's look for the left."

Worm running away from hook.

'Your feet are killing me!'

'So where are you going?'

'What is it with mares and Iberians?!'

'I think it's most likely a situational depression.'

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

'We don't have a treadmill, so the stress test here is waiting two hours to see a doctor.'

"And now for this week's episode of, 'The fallen Arches'."

"It's worse than you think, doctor - his dad's supper is in there."

'So in hindsight, maybe not the best idea...'

Arch Rivals.

London GPs income slashed by 'list cleaning'.

Ear, Nose & Throat Clinic

She let her footwear do the talking....

Chiropodist examines client's foot whilst wearing a clothes peg on his nose.