Shoe Repair Joke Gifts

Shoe repair

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

Not you again, Achilles.

Bootmaker upset over the death of a long term customer

Shop signs.

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

Shoe Repair. "Shoe repair" --- It must be for people who have lost one shoe and want to replace it!

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

"Of course I don't have your shoes...you told me you wanted them re-sold."

At the heel bar

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

"How are you fixed for sandals?"

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

'Okay, Pete - same time next year?'

'It's not my fault I'm three weeks late - my watch was slow.'

Podiatrist. The shoe repairman wants a callus removed. Ah, a corn on the cobbler!

Shoes 'to be soled as a pair'.

Lost Soles

"And now for this week's episode of, 'The fallen Arches'."

"Heel."

Two workman deliver a giant odour eater to the Old Lady who lives in the shoe.

'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'

Heel bar.

Chiropodist examines client's foot whilst wearing a clothes peg on his nose.

"Rad's shot. Looks like a drive-by."

'The last of the Mohicans'