Highway Patrolman Gifts

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

"Let me guess - your gas pedal stuck."

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

"Sir, have you been drinking, not drinking, drinking, not drinking, drinking?"

'Why don't you look at ME that way?'

Speed Reading Class.

Speed Limit Enforced by Slow Aircraft

Traffic Court

'My mother wants to talk to you.'

'Just because I don't know how to fly, doesn't mean I don't know how to drive.'

"I better approach this one really carefully."

"On the upside, Sarge, we've broken our record time for getting to the scene of an accident."

Thru versus Through Traffic

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Caution: Construction workers standing around and drinking coffee.

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"Any references?"

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"On your mark! Get set!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

?50 speed sign

"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

Man sees troll in Troll Booth.